Entry tags:

tdoas

FIC: The Death of a Soul ch 8
Title: The Death of a Soul
Author: roedhunt
Pairing(s): HP/SS
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Every choice and decision in Harry’s life has been made by the wizarding world. Now the only thing he has had control over - his freedom - is threatened. Will Harry succumb to this new challenge as he usually does or will he finally stand up and fight? … Because there is only so much a man can take before his soul dies.


Highlight for Warnings: * Non-consensual sex in a forced male/male relationship, first time, hurt/no comfort accepted. HET in chapters One and Two. *
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers …No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

Acknowledgements:
To: silentauror, lemonade8, lsr, swanpride, annephoenix, ironhide, and political_poet. Thank you for all of the excellent advice you gave me!
To: magic_helmet. Words can’t say thank you enough for making sure I didn’t stray away from my original plotline! And a huge thank you for the absolutely wonderful icon you made me! *super big huggie*

Chapter Eight


The signed marriage contract disappeared before the peacock quill even hit Dumbledore’s desk. Harry remained focused on the empty place where the contract had sat, still in a state of defeat. It was a full thirty seconds before it even registered to him the happy chaos around him. The atmosphere was now ecstatic. Harry’s hearing sharpened, listening to the conversation going on within the room.

“…the full moon is Friday, so Saturday at 12:01 will be perfect. We will have everything ready and everyone will be informed. The Great Hall will be able to accompany everyone up to about 1,000 once we transform it.”

“And I will get the appropriate attire and the customary rings.”

“Excellent. I see that everything is under control so I will head back to the Ministry and they will be most pleased to hear that another trial won't be necessary.”

Harry couldn’t believe it. They were speaking as if he wasn’t even there. Like he was invisible. A sudden rage of anger filled Harry’s body – one he hadn’t felt since he was told of the Life-Debt.

“What the bloody hell is going on here?” he spouted.

The three wizards fell silent with a slight apprehension. Cornelius Fudge was the first to speak.

Addressing Dumbledore and Snape, “Well I should be off now.” He gave a nervous glance to Harry and all but ran to the fireplace.

“Well?” Harry asked accusingly, his eyes darting back and forth between the two. Neither spoke. Irritated by the lack of response, he continued. “You’re acting like this will be a bloody festive holiday!”

Albus managed a small grin. “Harry. Two wizards will be joined - becoming very powerful. The wizarding world will see that as a monumental occasion,” he said softly, with a bit of hope that Harry will understand.

Harry narrowed his eyes and glowered at Snape who was merely smirking at him.

“Powerful wizards? What are you talking about?” said Harry raising his voice.

Dumbledore turned to the Potions master. “I’ll leave that up to you, Severus. I trust you will explain everything that Harry needs to know?”

Snape's sneer never left his lips. “Of course.”

Dumbledore nodded and quickly walked away to his quarters. Harry watched with distain as the Headmaster retreated and then glared back at Snape. The older wizard folded his arms, waiting for the storm that would surely happen.

“Perhaps you should sit down,” he said calmly, his head motioning to the couch by the fireplace.

“No I will not sit down! Tell me what the fuck is going on!”

Severus barely flinched at the cursing. Harry rarely swore, but he thought this time was more than warranted given the circumstances.

Keeping his voice level, Severus explained. “It seems, Harry, that the Ministry feels you need assistance in defeating Voldemort.”

“What?” Harry screamed.

“Therefore, they were more than happy to concur with my chosen Life-Debt and they do not want any – repeated occurrences like the last time you had confronted Him.”

“What?” Harry screamed louder.

“The marriage will strengthen our combined powers, thus making it impossible for the Dark Lord to survive.”

“You can’t take my powers away!”

Severus sighed, frustrated more than he was irritated. “I am not taking anything away from you, Harry. Our abilities will be joined together and each of us will have the same amount of combined power.”

Harry began to tremble. “So they were only bluffing about the whole damn trial and about turning me into an Obliviated Muggle! And that’s why the Ministry was so willing to go along will this rubbish! To protect their precious ‘saviour’ and to save their bloody hides!”

“Correction. To ‘save all their bloody hides’.”

“Of course. How stupid of me,” Harry snapped. He paused for a moment so he could think clearly. “So let me get this straight. I couldn’t defeat Voldemort so therefore I am too weak…”

“You are not weak,” Severus said firmly.

“Well obviously I must be if they want me to join my powers with you,” he said mockingly.

“I told you, it will make you strong enough to kill him,” Snape hissed.

“Because I couldn’t do it on my own! Isn’t that right? Isn’t that what everyone is saying? The Boy-Who-Lived failed so now he needs a fucking babysitter?”

“I will not be your babysitter! I will be your husband!”

“That’s right. I forgot,” Harry said sarcastically. “The famous ‘marriage of convenience’. Used for your protection as well as mine.” Snape clenched his teeth. “Tell me something, professor, what other lies have you been spouting off to everyone?” he said smugly.

Severus stalked over to Harry and hovered just inches from his face. “Don’t you ever call me a liar again!”

A small smirk crept over the young wizards face as he held his head up confidently. Snape's hand compressed into a fist, a movement not lost to his future spouse.

“Well?” Harry challenged, raising an eyebrow. “Are you going to hit me or not?”

The Potions master trembled slightly before holding his breath and backing away. Harry sneered at him as Severus turned around to put a few feet of distance between them.

Dumbledore returned at that very moment and cast a concerned look at Snape. He was still upset but he nodded anyway. It was enough time for Harry to react. Glancing sideways, he noticed his wand lying on the Headmaster's desk in plain view.

“Accio wand!” Before either wizard could move, Harry cried, “I quit!” and snapped his wand in two over his left knee.

The explosion from the shattered wand threw Snape and Dumbledore into the air several feet back and they were surrounded by a red and gold coloured cloud of smoke. Harry scowled at both of them where they were lying on the floor and tossed his broken wand into the fireplace before barging out the Headmaster's office.


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~


Harry stormed out of the castle and headed down to his tree. He slammed his back into it and threw his head back, hitting it numerous times. After obtaining a solid headache, he slid to the ground and cursed under his breath.

“So what do we have here?” Malfoy drawled. “The famous Harry Potter pouting?”

Was the blond stalking him?

“Sod off, Malfoy!”

“My, my. Such language, Mr. Potter.”

“Fuck off!”

Malfoy raised an eyebrow. “Now what could have provoked The Boy-Who-Lived to show such hostility?” he said sarcastically.

Not rising to the bait, Harry got up, dusted himself off and headed towards the forest, not once looking back.

“Ah yes. Now the brave Gryffindor is turning into a coward,” Malfoy taunted.

Harry whipped around and clenched his fists by his sides. “You know nothing about me, Malfoy!” Harry snapped. “Or what’s going on!”

The furious young wizard spun back around, ignoring Draco Malfoy’s retort.


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~


It was well after dark when Harry arrived back to the Gryffindor common room. He pushed through the crowd of his fellow classmates who had obviously been waiting for him. He marched upstairs to the seventh years’ room, slammed the door behind him and began pacing. He wasn’t surprised at all when the door opened and a figure entered.

“Are you mad, boy?” Severus barked.

Harry spun around and cried out, “Get out and leave me the fuck alone!” That word was becoming easier for him to say.

“Do you realise what you have done, Potter?”

‘Now it’s back to ‘Potter’, is it?’ Harry thought bitterly. “I did what I should have done years ago!”

“It was preposterous, you imbecile,” Snape bit out, answering his own question.

“Well I guess the Ministry will just have to find a new saviour, won't they?”

“Is that what this is all about?” Snape spat, folding his arms across his chest. “Running away from your responsibilities?”

“I didn’t ask for all this!” Harry shouted, waving his arms as if gesturing about the world.

“None of us did!”

“You liar! You did!”

Severus immediately shut up. His onyx eyes narrowed and he glared at the equally furious green ones. Harry could sense that Snape wanted to haul off and deck him, but he stood fast. Abruptly, the older wizard turned and headed for the door. He paused, lowering his head.

“Where were you?” Snape asked, his demeanor changing suddenly. His back was still to Harry.

“Why the hell do you care?” Harry spat. “Don’t tell me you're suddenly growing a conscience,” he mocked.

“I see how it would be hard for you to grasp, but I assure you, I do care about your well-being.”

“Bollocks!” Harry cried.

Severus sighed, looked back at him and hesitated briefly before regaining his composure. “Harry, I know this is not easy for you…”

“Easy? Try impossible!”

“… but you must understand that it is pointless to agitate yourself any further.”

“Like I care,” Harry growled.

“That part is perfectly clear,” Snape instinctively drawled. He held his tongue before speaking again. “In any case, it was a foolish thing to do.”

“Which thing?” Harry asked heatedly. “Breaking my wand, running off, or swearing?”

Snape sighed. “All of the above.”

“What’s it to you?”

Severus began softly, “As your future spouse…”

Harry had heard enough. “Get out! Get out! GET! OUT!”

Severus sighed again, this time audibly. “Very well. We will talk later.”

“Talk to yourself, you bastard!”

Snape got as far as reaching for the doorknob.

“What more could you possibly have to say to me? How thrilled you’ll be when I become Harry Snape or the fact that you’ll be raping my arse for the next hundred years?” Harry spouted.

A renewed sense of anger rose in Severus and slowly he turned with an eyebrow raised. He approached Harry just as if he was about to take house points away. In the past, Harry would secretly be terrified by this intimidation, but now he merely raised his chin and stood his ground.

“As usual, Mister Potter, you have once again assumed my intentions.”

Harry clenched his jaw and crossed his arms tightly across his chest.

“In the first place, I will be taking your name.”

Severus smirked as the young wizard’s eyebrows shot up.

“In the second place, I never said it would be you that would be – how did you once elegantly put it? Oh yes. Buggered up the arse.”

Harry’s mouth flew open. “What?” he said, half-laughing.

Snape curled his mouth into a satisfied grin.

The Gryffindor choked in amusement. “You mean to tell me that you expect me to – to – shag you?”

The Potions master suddenly narrowed his eyes at him, not at all amused.

“Ha! Wait till everyone finds out that Professor Snape likes to…”

“You will not tell anyone what happens in the privacy of our quarters!” Severus barked. “Is that clear?”

Now it was Harry’s turn to smirk.

“Is that clear?” Snape repeated, demanding an answer.

Harry’s head went up like he was nodding but it was only because he scoffed. Severus took that as a yes. With a swish of his robes, Snape stormed away, leaving a very surprised and a very elated Gryffindor.


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~


The next four days passed by infinitely slowly for Harry. It was only because he was plagued by everyone trying to convey their concern for his recent behaviour. They have never before seen Harry so livid and yet so silent. Hermione and Ron tried several times to corner him to explain themselves, but Harry was still in a state of fury aimed at everyone – especially them. Granted, the information regarding Snape's sexual preferences lightened his spirits, but it was short lived. But Harry was relieved that he hadn’t seen him since then.

‘If he thinks that I could ever be able to get excited enough to bugger him…’ his mind kept repeating.

Finally, on Friday, the day before the “wedding”, Ron and Hermione caught him alone. And unaware.

“Please, Harry. Just listen to us a moment,” Hermione pleaded.

Harry glared at her and folded his arms, clearly displaying that he would listen but still wouldn’t believe anything she had to say. His young friend sighed and looked to Ron for help.

“Listen, mate,” he began, not missing the way Harry flinched at the term ‘mate’. He continued anyway. “You have to understand. We don’t care for that greasy bastard anymore than you do, but he’ll protect you.” Harry flinched again. “We just don’t want to see you get hurt and we didn’t want you sent off to Azkaban.”

‘Sent off?’ Harry wondered, but quickly dismissed it as Ron’s way of not coming out and showing his disapproval of Harry’s suicidal decision.

“Professor Snape assured us that he won't hurt you,” Hermione whispered.

“Hurt?” Harry said, his voice raising. “And I suppose the wedding night won't hurt, will it?” he said bitterly.

Hermione blushed and looked away.

“Harry,” Ron said quietly. “I’m sorry that that has to happen. We both are. But he told us…”

“And you believe him?” he snapped. “And since when have the three of you been on such friendly terms?”

“He knows that we are your friends, Harry,” Hermione explained. “And he respects that. He wants us to remain friends with you and to – help you in everyway possible.”

“That’s right, Harry,” Ron concurred. “When school’s not in session, we are allowed to - to talk to him as an equal.”

“An equal?” Harry shouted. “Is that what he said?”

Ron bit his lower lip and nodded, though he was just as disgusted at that thought as Harry was.

“Bastard,” Harry muttered. Suddenly, his eyes opened wide. “Why didn’t you defend me?” he asked Hermione accusingly.

The young witch’s face paled. “Harry, I-I …” she started, stuttering. “This was the only way,” Hermione whispered.

‘What?’ Harry’s mind screamed. ‘This is supposed to be the smartest witch of her generation and this is the only way?’

Harry’s head shot over to Ron. “And what about you, Ron?”

The redhead opened and closed his mouth, unable to speak. His blue eyes flashed over to Hermione. She was looking away embarrassed. He looked away as well and whispered just as softly as she did. “There was nothing anyone could do.”

Harry shuddered with rage. “Well thank you both so much for all your help,” he snapped.

His two friends flinched. Harry stormed away and they both began to cry.


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

You are cordially invited to the wedding of Severus Snape and Harry James Potter

Ron began fidgeting and shifted nervously, waiting for Harry to say something. Anything. He heard him grumble and growl from behind the screen, but no words were actually formed. He really didn’t want to be here - even though it was his best friend that was getting married today. Dumbledore finally convinced Harry that he had to have a best man. And Ron was the closest thing to it.

Ron grimaced at that thought. ‘The closet thing to it,’ Harry had said. He knew that he betrayed Harry but the damage was already done. But, Ron was a stubborn redhead…not to mention a Gryffindor. So he vowed that he’d do whatever it took to set things right with Harry.

Hermione, however, was in despair from the guilt that wracked her senseless. She cursed herself for being so weak and not trying hard enough to find another solution. Ever since she had found out about the ‘marriage’, she had cracked open every book in the library – even the restricted section – to find a loophole. A flaw. Anything. But in the end, there was nothing. This was the only way. She had lost sleep last night from crying. Until she ran out of tears.


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~


“Harry?” Ron called out timidly.

Silence. Obviously Harry was still mad. He hadn’t spoken one word to Ron all morning. But he still waited patiently while Harry was behind a screen getting a ‘ritual’ pre-wedding bath from the school’s house-elves. Harry had hissed, yelped, muttered and even cursed – but Ron – thank goodness - couldn’t make them out. He wasn’t even sure he would’ve recognised any of them.

“Why the fuck do I have to be naked under this fucking dress?” Harry finally said, his words echoing in the small room.

Ron flinched and secretly wanted the silence back. “Harry?” he said quietly.

“What?” Harry yelled, pulling back the screen.

His (ex?) friend bowed his head and focused on the patterns of the rug. “Nothing,” he mumbled.

The dark-haired wizard scowled at him then hissed as Headmaster Dumbledore walked in.

“It’s time, Harry.”

“Fuck,” he muttered under his breath.


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~


It felt like the entire wizarding world was crammed into the Great Hall. Harry’s narrowed eyes scanned over everybody, just waiting for someone to look at him wrong. He refused to meet the pair of onyx ones that was standing a foot away and he could feel those eyes burning a hole into the side of his head.

Dumbledore was right. Everyone sitting before Harry was acting like this was a celebrated holiday and Harry and he was to be the gift. Flashes of lights went off like fast lightening bolts and Harry glared at the photographers.

“You could at least attempt to smile.”

“Fuck off, Snape,” he hissed.

He heard an exasperated sigh. “Sooner or later you will have to address me as Severus,” he calmly pointed out.

A snort was Harry’s only response.

The quiet chattering in the Great Hall was hushed as Headmaster Albus Dumbledore stood behind the podium. Harry turned his attention to the older wizard.

Albus began.

“Good marriages require patience, kindness, humility, sacrifice, empathy, love, understanding, forgiveness, and hard work.”

Harry tried not to scream.

“We have come together here in the joining together of Severus Snape and Harry James Potter.”

Harry flinched.

“Much wisdom concerning the joining together of two souls comes their way, and with their union, more knowledge is gained and more wisdom gathered. Though we are unable to give all this knowledge to these two, who stand before us, we can hope to leave with them the knowledge of their combined powers and it’s strengths and the anticipation of the love that comes with time.”

Harry could now feel the bile rising in his throat.

“Now I bid you look into each other’s eyes.”

Harry snapped his head to face the Potions master and glared as he clenched his teeth. Severus, however, was looking back with an unreadable expression.

“The ancients were reminded by the circle of eternity as to have neither beginning nor end and it is so fashioned into this circlet of precious metal of gold.”

Dumbledore held out both hands, a ring in each one. Snape took it without hesitation. Harry paused. A few seconds of intense silence was felt before he snatched it up. Albus continued.

“In hopes that they keep the vows made on this day, they shall teach each other who they are, what they yet shall be, because they are more than themselves and more than each other; they are all of us, and together we share joyously the fruits of life.”

Harry almost burst out laughing at the stupidity of it all. Severus held out his left hand and his eyes darted to emerald eyes then down to the ring Harry was holding. A panic ran through the young wizard. This was it. The time was now. The time he dreaded. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

‘I can't, Harry thought. ‘I just can't.

“Harry,” Albus warned.

The dark-haired boy flashed hatred at his one-time mentor. With a grunt, Harry roughly slid the ring on Severus’ finger. Severus hissed. Harry arched an eyebrow. He didn’t slip it on that hard. Not enough to warrant a hiss anyway. This suddenly made Harry very nervous. He held out his shaking hand. His heart raced faster and faster as the ring of doom came nearer and nearer to his ring finger. The ring slid on with ease.

Harry screamed and his knees buckled and he landed on one of them, doubled over in pain. Extreme pain. Dumbledore quickly waved his wand and the room fell silent. And eerily still. Severus knelt down in front of Harry.

“Harry! Relax! It will pass in a minute!”

Harry screamed louder. He pulled desperately at the ring.

“Get it off! Get it off!” he howled.

“I can't, Harry. Try to relax. Relax, damnit!”

The gold had begun to dig into Harry’s flesh and into his veins.

“Get it off!” he cried, still tugging at it.

“Stop it, boy! You’re just causing more damage!”

Harry hunched over, holding his throbbing hand close to his chest. He stopped pulling, but the pain intensified. He raised his head and tears were streaming down his face.

“What… what did you do to me?” he sobbed.

Severus actually looked relieved that this part was over. “I did nothing,” he whispered to Harry. “This is a bonding ring. It not only bonds us together, but it bonds into our body.”

Harry gazed at him with horrified eyes. “You could have warned me, you bastard.”

Snape pursed his lips together and looked away, up to Albus who was watching with regard.

Harry bent his head down and touched his new ring. “You could have warned me,” he whispered.

The older wizard tried to help Harry stand, but he jerked his arm away and hissed. “Don’t touch me.”

After all three had taken their place again, Dumbledore waved his wand and the room was once again filled with anticipation. Obviously they were oblivious as to what just happened. Albus cleared his throat to regain everybody’s attention.

“Now both of you please state your vows to one another.”

Harry opened his eyes and stared at the Headmaster, but he ignored him. ‘Vows?’

“These vows will be for the two of them alone.” And he cast another spell on everyone but this one was only a Silencing Spell.

Severus took Harry’s reluctant hand and kept his eyes focused on Harry’s.

“I, Severus Snape, promise you, Harry James Potter, to supply all of your needs whether it be support, constant friendship or desires. I promise to respect your personality, habits and preferences and shall not seek to change you in any way. I shall respect you, your beliefs, and your friends as I respect myself. I shall show interest in you and your interests. I value your voice or opinion and will ask for your counsel and shall hear your reproofs without retribution. Lastly, I promise to desire you and wish to be desired by you and be possessed by you, without guilt or shame.”

Sensing that his vow was over, Harry glared at his new ‘spouse’ and began, not having a clue as to what he was going to say.

“I, Harry James Potter, promise you, Severus Snape, to never forget this day or what you’ve taken away from me. Therefore, I shall now take away from you. From this day forward I am no longer the Harry Potter that you or anyone else knows, for he no longer exists. In his place, you have created a new Harry Potter, which stands before you now.

I hate you. I have always hated you and now my hatred for you will only continue to grow and will not end until one of us dies. You have done nothing but lie to me since the first day I met you and you still continue to lie. I will never trust you or the promises you speak of. I offer you nothing except my name and my body, which I do not willingly give. You speak of your desires, but know this: I will never desire you. Ever. Because of this contract, you are allowed to take your pleasure by using me as a vessel, but as long as we are married, there is nothing you will be able to do or say to me that will arouse me, entice me, please me or satisfy me, for those desires within me no longer exist.”

Harry arched an eyebrow, watching any sign of annoyance coming from Severus. But there was only a blank expression showing. The Headmaster paused – maybe from shock – but quickly got over it and released the spell.

“Now you will feel no rain, for each of you will be sanctuary to the other. Now you will feel no cold, for each of you will be warmth to the other. Now there is no isolation for you. Now there is no more loneliness. Now you are two, but there is only one life in front of you.

Go now and enter into the days of your togetherness.”

Thank goodness they didn’t have to kiss.


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Chapter Nine



PREVIOUS CHAPTERS:
1 ~ 2 ~ 3 ~ 4 ~ 5 ~ 6 ~ 7