| Roedhunt's Insane Journal ( @ 2007-08-06 02:44:00 |
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| Entry tags: | hp/dm, hpfol |
FIC: Harry Potter and the Facts of Life ch 4
Title: Harry Potter and the Facts of Life
Author:
roedhunt
Pairing(s): HP/DM
Rating: NC-17
Summary: A humorous take on Harry Potter learning about his body through the years. Things start really heating up when Draco Malfoy enters in as the wicked teacher.
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, blah blah blah.
Chapter Four
Harry Potter hopped off the table and turned for the door. He heard another silent spell and the door unlocked. Harry stopped and faced Draco Malfoy.
“Malfoy, what exactly was your assumption?”
Draco softly sighed. “I thought I already explained that.”
“So, just being close to you has the same effect on them as it did on me?”
Draco smiled and shook his head, “Well, not exactly.” Harry his scrunched nose and pursed his lips. “Really, Potter. You have that stupid look on your face again.”
Harry tried to ignore the insult. “So what exactly do you do?”
Draco nodded his head a few times, smiling again. “I wondered when you were going to ask me that.” Harry cocked his eyebrow up. “All right, Potter. I think you’ve waited long enough.”
Draco motioned Harry to sit back down on the table. Draco leaned back on the edge of the table and folded his arms again.
“Hmm. Where do I begin?” A thoughtful pause. “I cannot believe I’m telling you this. YOU, of all people.” Harry silently fumed. “But… I suppose I DID start this. All right., you know guys experience an orgasm, right?” Harry looked utterly confused. “The result of wanking off?!”
“OKAY! I get it!”
“Humph. No need to get huffy, Potter. That’s MY job. Just pay attention.” Draco raised an eyebrow at him and Harry only nodded. “Good. Well, girls experience one too, but it’s different for them. So, I learned how to give them one, in all sorts of ways.” Draco grinned recalling moments.
“How…?”
“Another time, Potter.” He smirked. “And then they give me one.”
“One what?”
“OH I DON’T BELIEVE YOU! ONE WHAT? HAVE YOU BEEN LISTENING TO ANYTHING I’VE SAID?”
Harry blushed. “Sorry. It’s just… sorry. Please continue.” Draco rolled his eyes. “I am sorry, Malfoy.”
Draco huffed then continued, “ANYWAY, they do several things to me so I can have one….” Draco glared at Harry. Harry nodded lowering his head. “Clear, Potter?”
“Um, not exactly.” Draco held his breath. “I know WHAT you have, but you never said exactly what they DO to YOU.”
“All right, fair enough.” Draco paused, thought for a moment and smirked. “You know this would really be a good time to mess with you, Potter.” Harry's eyes and nostrils flared. “But I won’t,” he mused. “So, they either wank me off, suck me off or… I shag them.” He said wickedly.
“Suck you off?” Harry asked innocently.
“How did I KNOW you were going to ask me that?” he softly laughed shaking his head.
“Because I DON’T KNOW!”
“Really? I never would have guessed that.” He teased. “Simply put, they use their mouth and suck my cock.”
“That’s disgusting!” Harry exclaimed.
“Believe me, it isn’t” Draco chortled.
“I meant that WORD!”
“I suppose YOU still call it a willy?” Draco snorted.
Harry opened his mouth to protest, but his face turned bright red.
“Oh, now I like THAT look better.” Draco said fighting back the laughter.
Harry looked down then raised his eyes to the other boy’s. “What does it...? I mean …uh… why do you want… um...”
Draco softly scoffed. “Potter, if I had that three times a day, I’d NEVER wank off again! Whew. That would be…” Draco closed his eyes and sighed.
“Fun?”
Draco shot back his head and roared with laughter.
“DON”T LAUGH AT ME!”
Draco raised his hand to his forehead and shook his head. “Potter, I don’t know whether to pity you or just revel in your ignorance. Don’t ANY of your friends tell you ANYTHING?”
Harry scowled and opened his mouth to defend his friends, but then realized Draco was right. No one ever got this specific. Why? Perhaps they didn’t know? Or maybe they just wanted to keep him in the dark so they could all laugh at him just like Malfoy was doing. Harry climbed off the table and stomped to the door.
Draco sighed. “Potter stop. I only think it’s funny because you're getting all this information from ME and not your ‘close’ friends. I didn’t mean to insult them. It’s, well, it’s a shame.”
Harry already had the door open and then paused. He turned slowly around and softly asked, “Would you…I mean... could you... you know... show me?”
“ARE YOU MAD? I told you I only consort with GIRLS! YOU were only an experiment!” Draco screamed waving his arms about.
Harry bowed his head and whispered, “I meant could you find me a girl that would do… that.”
Draco loudly exhaled, folded his arms again and contemplated for a moment. It became so deadly quiet, Harry could hear his own heart beating.
“Potter, if I DID find a girl for you, you know it would be all over the school. ‘I gave The-Boy-Who-Lived a BLOWJOB’.” Harry looked confused. “Same as sucking you off, idiot.” Draco clarified.
Harry nodded slowly. “Yeah, you're right. Thanks anyway. And thank you for all your help. I should get back.”
“Potter.” A sigh. “I’ll see what I can do.” Harry shot a hopeful look at Draco. “But I’m not promising ANYTHING! Understand?” Harry nodded gleefully. “I’ll let you know in a few days. I need time to think.”
Harry wanted to hug Draco but refrained and hugged himself instead. He left bouncing down the corridor whistling softly. He didn’t care if Filch or Snape caught him. He was too elated. Draco stayed behind and placed his hand over his eyes.
“Kids.”